Reflections

I couldn’t let this date pass without at least pausing to acknowledge that my life changed drastically one year ago today. If you think I’m talking about the day I married my best friend, you are wrong. On September 26, 2010 I received a phone call in the early morning that my parents were in a very bad accident. Over the next 10 days I practically lived in the ICU at Ben Taub Hospital in Houston. I went into “crisis mode” making sure that our friends and family were updated, organizing meal delivery, comforting my mom, delegating tasks, fielding questions. By December 2010 I thought the worst was behind us and I helped my parents through a celebratory Christmas Party. I honestly thought I would go on with life, and get back to where I was on September 25th before all this nonsense happened.

Life kept throwing curve ball after curve ball. My mother’s injuries from the accident, although minor, were not treated properly and by January she was in constant debilitating pain that kept her from walking, talking, and living. She was shut down and my dad had a hard time coping, as he was still healing himself. I again popped myself back into crisis mode and gave everything I had to assisting my dad through this very difficult time. In March 2011 my mom was taken by ambulance for emergency surgery after doctors discovered a large infection pressing on her spinal cord. One wrong move and she would be paralyzed. A very risky surgery took place, and she woke up in ICU with a halo brace screwed into her head.

At this one year mark, I can exhale and report that my parents have done a tremendous amount of healing, and have overcome steep odds. None of us are the people we were one year ago. This long and painful year has revealed a great deal to me – most of which I appreciate but there are some heartbreaking realities that I wish I never learned. In the midst of a catastrophe, true character is exposed. I saw the good and bad in my family and friends. Friends who I considered close suddenly stopped calling. It didn’t take long before I was unable to keep up the facade that everything was okay. I gave up on small talk and reserved make up for special occasions with Jim. In order for me to keep from completely crumbling I had to refocus my energy at work and within my marriage. Jim has been an unwavering rock for me, amidst dealing with a frustrating job search. His positive attitude and encouraging words have helped me put one foot in front of the other. I realized that without putting my faith in God, I would be a pile of nothing. I feel very loved and blessed. Jeremiah 29:11 says that the Lord has a plan for me and that plan is not to harm me but to give me hope. Psalm 23 is a beautiful verse about how the Lord leads us. Here is the New Life Version of the scripture:

1 The Lord is my Shepherd. I will have everything I need. 2 He lets me rest in fields of green grass. He leads me beside the quiet waters. 3 He makes me strong again. He leads me in the way of living right with Himself which brings honor to His name. 4 Yes, even if I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not be afraid of anything, because You are with me. You have a walking stick with which to guide and one with which to help. These comfort me. 5 You are making a table of food ready for me in front of those who hate me. You have poured oil on my head. I have everything I need. 6 For sure, You will give me goodness and loving-kindness all the days of my life. Then I will live with You in Your house forever.

I definitely felt God’s presence through the “valley” and I want to experience Him just as prominently tomorrow as I did yesterday. I pray for continued healing for my family – both physically and emotionally. I pray for those who stepped up to the plate to extend a kind hand – that their good deeds would be repaid to them. Likewise, I pray for my enemies. I pray also that I would become a better example of what it means to walk with Christ. I pray that I will be slow to anger, quick to forgive, and love unconditionally again.